Friday, March 29, 2013

The Evolution of My Justin Timberlake Obsession

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If I had kept a diary documenting my obsession with Justin Timberlake, it may have gone something like this:

1998 - Age 10

Who are these *NSYNC guys? What a stupid name for a band. Are they trying to be like the Backstreet Boys? I'm not sure I have room in my life for TWO boy bands.

Wait... they can dance?! Okay, I'm sold.

1999 - Age 11 

Hey, that Justin kid is kinda cute. I can't decide if I like him or that Lance guy better.

Oh, wow... he has the voice of an angel.

2000 - Age 12

HOLY. CRAP. This No Strings Attached album is pretty bitchin. Justin has a solo in EVERY song. Did you see the video for Bye Bye Bye?! It's been #1 on TRL for like 100 straight weeks. My friends and I made a KILLER dance to that song, mostly because we memorized the entire video and copied all their dance moves.

ZOMG I also got this really cool thing from McDonalds called a "Hit Clip" - now I can listen to 5 seconds of It's Gonna Be Me whenever I want!! To hear Justin's voice at the push of a button is seriously like a dream come true.

Mrs. Timberlake - has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?! OMG we're totally getting married one day. Besides being totally cute and talented, Justin is like SO funny! I just want him and Britney so break up soon so we can start dating. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love Britney and her music is AMAZING, but Justin belongs to me. I mean, he already takes up 90% of my bedroom wall.

I Googled Justin the other day and found all these clips from when he was on the Mickey Mouse Club with Britney, Christina, JC, and Ryan Gosling. OMG SO CUTE!! I could just eat him up. So hilarious that Jessica Simpson got REJECTED. That's cuz she pretty much sucks.

Also... I'M GOING TO SEE JUSTIN IN CONCERT AT MADISON SQUARE GARDEN!! HBO is filming the whole thing. I'm so so so so excited!

2001 - Age 13

I just got *NSYNC's Celebrity album... I'm super excited because the guys wrote most of the songs themselves! The lyrics are actually kinda strange but it's really awesome for a first attempt at songwriting! YAY mediocrity! I especially like it cuz for the song Gone, Justin is singing the entire time. That's officially my new anthem, even though it's kinda slow and depressing.

Also... I'M GOING TO SEE JUSTIN IN CONCERT AGAIN! Spent like 80 bucks on a ticket but totally worth it.

2002 - Age 14

OMG Justin and Britney broke up! I'm actually really sad about it. As much as I wanted him for myself, I really just wanted him to be happy. He must be so heartbroken right now. I wish I could be there to comfort him. ;)

To top it all off... *NSYNC is taking a hiatus! I'm so sad, I really can't imagine life without them! On a somewhat brighter note, Justin released a solo album. His songs aren't so bad. Rock Your Body has a good beat. Also, I just learned that Cry Me a River is probably about Britney... scandalous! That dumb ho. I'm happy he's exploring a solo career, but I'm pretty confident *NSYNC will reunite again sometime in the near future. I can't wait for that day to come.

2003 - Age 15

Justin just hosted Saturday Night Live! I'm so glad people are finally starting to realize how amazing he is.

2006 - Age 18

Justin's in Alpha Dog. Sooo I guess he's acting now? It's a little weird. Now that it's been 3 years, I'm starting to doubt that *NSYNC will ever get back together. In fact, I don't even like him all that much anymore. Things are just not the same.

Although, he DID bring sexy back. Not sure where it went exactly, but I'll give him credit for that.

2010 - Age 22

3 times hosting Saturday Night Live, a kickass job in The Social Network... okay, old feelings are rushing back. But this time, I like him in a totally normal, healthy way...

2012 - Age 24

Justin Timberlake just married that bitch Jessica Biel. It's a Ben & Jerry's kinda night.

2013/Present Day - Age 24 

Suit & Tie is pretty good. I REALLY like Mirrors. But again, in a totally normal, healthy way. I tried to get concert tickets in my price range when they went on sale, but didn't have much luck.

Instead, I fought with Ticketmaster, kept trying for weeks, went on at least 10 different ticket-selling websites, and ended up spending $115 on a ticket in the nosebleed section. This is a totally normal, healthy response. The more I say it, the more people think it's true.

In Conclusion


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